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My life in my own words. A description of what happens everyday.

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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.

Edstorm's log
Thursday, February 20, 2003  
I sit here and I know..I need to grow up and stop living in the past......Its sad...yes, your dad is gone, but that is the past, now is the time to live your own life and live it well, andtake charge of it yourself.....You need to realize that people around you appreciate you, because you know yourself that you work hard for the things you belive in...The lady from the yearbook, liked your work and enjoyed it a lot....she did...and so did people you worked with in did a great job..even tom, he knows you did a good always do the best you always try to....yes...You jst need to grow up and work on your priorities....there are a few...those come first before anything else...yes, they do, your lifestyle is all not working now, your grades are not increasing, so thus you must chnage because you do not like the way you are living right do not like the way you are livingright don't.....For you dad....for you..
10:29 PM

Friday, February 14, 2003  
I need to tell Sabina that I am scared of being too irritating to Angela. Because that is the impression that I got on friday. That i was going too much into her life.

9:44 PM

Its another week in this endless cycle that am in. I analyze here and there but I cannot stop this from happeneing to me. Mayb I just have to stop thinking that I have nothign to do when i really have many things to finish for classes and all. yeah. I always have math to do....maybe i just need to realize that by studying engineering, I am realizing a dream of mine to be an engineer of the world and design things that will make an impact in the world. isn't that an engineer is all about.

I have to stop wasting the time that is given to me. Use the time wisely and work yourway through. Study hard and do your work, it is important and you should realize that.

Realize that you are fulfilling a dream that you said you had when you were in High School.

you are worth it.

yeah, never put yourself need to work and do what you are here to do. YOu need to study.

9:49 AM

Monday, February 10, 2003  
Well, today I talked to Jennfier and I thought it was sort of cool..yeah..h..although I thought that maybe she didn't want to talk to me...I guess I really did not know what to say to her....I really did not know what to say..haha...oh well, let's see what happens....something might happen but I do not know...she studys hard....really hard, something that I really should do in my free time...yep...

3:06 PM

Sunday, February 09, 2003  
I am an idiot..I missed my salsa class, some class that I look forward to all week....I am a loser do not know..I ended up doing nothign with my time....
7:19 PM

Yeah, I just saw Hugh Grant in "about a boy" and I think he is sort of right when he says that he lives life by units of time, a CD is 2 units, exercise is another2 units and food is another 5 units......but that despite that life is full, there is no meaning in it.

You need to think about it, and realize something about it.

1:41 PM

Wednesday, February 05, 2003  
I think it is kind of sad. yeah, I just the grades of my first few classes and I know that despite all I have done...all the notes and classes, I just did not find enough times to study and do well in the tests.

Well, lets talk about CS first, well, I thought O studied for it, but I did not do the Homework and that caused me not to know some of the things. I knew the theories and everything but most of the test was on actual programming, I do not have my programming stuff straight, I need to work on that and make it better....

OK, econ, I spent my time doing the CS HW that I didn't really study for Econ, I also missed the last few classes. That caused me not to know too much about the last few topics. That is why I need to reads the book and get back on track about what I need to know about the class. It is an interesting class and I know I can do well in it, I just need to get interested in it again and work hard on doing the work and all. And not waste valuable time everyday.

Calc, Calc...its the same every year, I know everything but I do not know anything about doing the problems because I do not practice. I NEED to practise. KNowing what he is talking about does not mean you know how to do it in the exam.

just do not waste time anymore and work hard. Every minutes counts for you, you have a lot to do. You are what you are. Be that and be good at it. You like computers, programming just takes patience, find that patience again. You knew it back then. FInd the passion you had once. OK?

good luck

11:25 PM

Monday, February 03, 2003  
Today I saw the iMoviefest and I am impressed by what the people have done with their movies and time. Very impressed. wow.
9:52 PM

Sunday, February 02, 2003  
Few of the things I learned from Thom Rutledge
- I make 100% of the decisions in my life.
- Given the choices available to my consciousness at any given time, I will make the best choice.
- Not to follow the should monster, because with him you're a loser no matter which way you go.
- No two objects can occupy my mind at the same time.
- To practice self-forgiveness is to recognize when harmful thoughts occupy your mind and to replace them with new thoughts of your own design and choice.
- Perfection is not an option for us as human beings.
- Invite yourself to enjoy life as a constant living experience.
- Make the decision to live by decision rather than default.
- Do not behave as if we don't have choices.
- Get rid of your unrealistic expectations.
- You are not what your dad was, he wasn't the person he was all his life.
- I must accept the responsibility to create and maintain positive self-esteem.
- Our minds wander and that is a fact of life. We need to learn how to get back on track and remember to pay attention.
- Make specific plans to be regularly reminded to remember.
- Being a decision maker is choosing to be involved in a life-long process of developing practical intelligence and good judgement, the kind of good sense we need to face life's daily pop tests.
- Don't waste your regrets; learn the lessons.
- Negative Motivation is being pushed from behind [the past], and positive motivation is being pulled from the front[the future].
- You need to make yourself get more pushed from the front.
- "All or none thinking" is a wonderful tool for procrastinators.
- You need to tell other about your goals. That way you will do them better and all. It is a good way to increase your sense of accountability and stoke the motivational fires.
- When you don't tell anyone else, you do not need to admit out loud that you've not followed through. Thus it is easier to deny this to yourself when you have no one to answer to.
- Genuine power is the power to make our own choices, not hiding behind a shield of victimization. It is the power and the courage to step forward and claim full responsibility for ourselves, mistakes and all.
- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Depression is living a life without meaning and letting depression take it over.
- Life purposes has two parts. Communal and personal. Our personal purpose is that which must be resolved(personally) before we can effectively enact our communal purpose (purpose to serve the world).
- The first step to changing something is to accept it as it is.
- If we truly desire to be self-respoonsible people, we must be willing and able to sort through the baggage we all carry, learning to let go of self-blame for those things we had no control over and learning to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made along the way.
- Learn the lessons, let go of the excess baggage and then move on.
- Everyone is afraid of being ordinary.
- We grow among a lot of double-binding around us. These can paralyze us. We need to find a way through these messages. They often threaten the illusion of safety and order.
- He who despises himself nevertheless esteems himself as a self-despiser.
- Feeling less than others will only serve to isolate us.
- Do not miss out on recognizing the sameness of myself to the people around me. You are no different from others around you who study in the same school and go through the same things in life. You are afraid of being ordinary. (example shown by girl that gives advice, but does not give the same advice to herself.
- Its about being on a level playing field, and being in a position of strength. Strength that we belong.

7:52 PM

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