My life in my own words.
A description of what happens everyday.
This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
Edmund…..you are lonely because you want to be lonely…its something that you are doing to yourself…that is why everyone is ignoring you and you are closing yourself up…..its sad but you cannot seem to be able to do anything about it…..come on Edmund, be a little more open and make more friends….have fun….do homework…because without friends and studying everyday will not get you anywhere….no where at all…Edmund…change for once and go out and meet guys and friends and hang out with them….try to do that and please…change your outfit and what you dress up as. You look so much like a nerd and so plain….you really do.
Monday, April 14, 2003
well, I broke what I was saying I was going to do.
I actually talked to my mum....she told me to stand up for myself...and to have proof when I make my connections and all. If I do not have the proof, I cannot accomplish anything and do the stuff that I want to do. Your dad was successful with the restaurant business, but all his other plans were unsuccessful because he did not have the qualifications needed to go through with everythng. Mainly, even if you have the friend in the company, he cannot get you the job, if you do not have the degree and the work to show that you are capable fo the job. You think completely wrongly, you need this degree and if you do not have it, you cannot achieve it big like you thought you need to. You need to be smart and realize that in all.
I sit here and think about that now...yeah I need to study and stand up for myself, I am good and the best in what I do. The economy is bad and that is why I do not have a car, I have to get a job before I can get a car. I need to get good grades and all. PLease work hard Edmund so that you can achieve that goal. It looks tough, but just think of how satisfied you will be when you finish everything and you are so happy with yourself in what you have accomplished and done with the last two weeks of school. It is possible because you are smart and you have plenty of time to do so. SO stand up and try to achieve it. Go work on it Edmund!!!!
Do not be lazy!!
Sunday, April 13, 2003
another argument with my mum...she does not understand how hard this school is...apparently from everyone there...I am about to break out...I am going to buy my own car...eventhough I do not have the ability to do so. I will not. I will not answer any phone calls from her anymore. I will close my phone and i will study hard. No one or my mum will not be able to contact me for the next few weeks. I can survive without her. All my funds will go one...and I will study for that. It simply is like that...hahaha.....I need to study for myself....I am going to study today for Economics and I will study hard for it. Nothing will stop me for that...nothing will....Then I will work on CS and then on the topic that I have for englsih. later
Today, I was brought awake by my dad....I woke up crying because I just had a dream of my dad....Sitting in the car discussing what I thought was bad in my life and why I could not achieve anything in my life. the I remember him taking money in his pocket and offering it to me and I saying no. It was a sad thing. I miss my dad. He was always trying make things better for me and he loved me. He tried hard eventhough he was sick and all. I miss him and I hope he will lead me to the right decisions that i have to make.
My mom says the same thing. I need to follow some of her advise. Like that I need to stuyd hard so that I can get a good job and live better in the long term. Yep.
because I do not know what the future holds for me....
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
what is there that I can do....I find myself..unable to figure that out right now...why do I do so badly in everything that I do?Do I not put enough effort....why am I still lonely....why can't I find friends to be with? Where are my true friends...why don't peoplelike to hang out with me...
I probably changed a lot since high school. Being the carefree guy ....so stress has kicked in and I just sit and try to do things which are tough and I stand to lose everything, just like I have again and a again...and I can do is sit and cry about it.....Edmund...just stop this madness.....don't think about it and make yourself work do what you must....
that is my advice to you. You can think about all this some other time....some other time when it is necessary.
I shall, from this point on, severe all connections to people thatI do not like hanging out with...I will find my own group to hang out wit..I will try to be ore cheery and try to take care of myself and do small things for others...I will stay strongly in belief of my beliefs and make the necessary influence that I can to make a small chnage to people's lives. Money is not everything. It never is. II shall take part more in community service and stuff. So that I can learn from others.
People have yet to realize that this world is very screwed up. That everything that we see around us is so flase. WHy do others always do better than you. Do you not make the same effort as they do. Why do people have to die from war everyday? WHat makes them so different from you. I ask that question now to people out there and to myself. WHy are people so cheap towards things...I can undertsand that. Some things are worth going to but others are so stuck up in their worlds that they do not realize what is out there. WHat
is wrong with the people around here. Why are they so close minded. By money and everything around them. The world, is such a big place and much that I cannot do. There is so much that I cannot do in this world to do anything....nothing at all. Eveyrone is doing it to restore their own image. and you pretty much don't care about yourself, but instead, you sit and think of others when you realize that HEY, you have test tommorw...so what the hell, are you thinking about the world and wasting the brain power.....it is something I guess I do all the time....its sad...it really is...and slowly, agian...depression sets in...I realize that all the money in the world is going to unjust causes and to the death of people....why is the government doing this...because I guess it is the govenrnment. It wastes this money away. The world is pretty much inchaos now, because of US influence....US infleuce is all that is to balme for this....and the government is soo wrong about the world...as I now come to the conclusion as an educated America....I will not vote Republican anymore....their views and clearly soo screwed up and the government putting itself into a hole that it cannot arise from....hahah.....
Monday, March 17, 2003
It was a good dream...a dream about playfulness and love between me and a gilr, mainly monica in this dream....but really, you just have to think about it as that you want a person to be able to have that fun with you. Just trying out new things...not being serious at all, like you always are...loosen up and have fun...its hard when you are in the situation that you are right now...when your mom is there to remind you not to do this or that...oh well....what can I say...hahaha...back to school I guess...
Sunday, March 16, 2003
Yeah, I have not really been exercising like I used to in High school. I need to get back to exercising. Because it is something that I should do. Something that will keep me focused and the day busy. It will only help me and I stand to lose nothing. The only thing stopping me from spending an hour swimming or doing weights is that I am lazy and I think that I am too tired to be able to do that.
I need to exercising. Look at yourself and the pictures, you used to look really good and in shape. What happened then, you got fat and gained weight because you stopped playing soccer for fun and did not exercise anymore. You need to get rid of this competitive feeling regarding the sport, just go out and have fun with the various people you meet. Its all fun and games.
its definitely better than computer games and movies on the computer.
Saturday, March 15, 2003
I promised my mom that I would study hard.....and I will
I think I might have figured why I am so bad in making friendships and everything. I have been too racist. I have never thought about it that way. And I apologiuze about it. I presume things about people because whAT i SEE OF THEM I don't even stop to get to know them at all. I am so racist and I am feel bad about it. I really feel bad about it. i will make the effort to change that and be different from now on. I will not distinguish people from races because ai do not want them to do the same to me and everything. I will make that consious effort to change and not be stereotypical and all. I will stand by my realization just like my brother says and work towards that. Friends and cool people are what they are. Friends and cool people. There should be nothing like race from stopping you from being friends and learning from them. Yeah.
Yeah, i went to a leadership seminar today and I think that it went great. Yeah I know, I was like 2 hours late, but I guess that is fine. Yep, oh well. What can I say. I was really open and talked about almost everything. Apparently I know a lot but I never apply it to anything at all, because I know too much. o sort of learned that when I was trying to calm Naomi down, i really did not know exactly what to do, There was so many ways to do it, I just could not be decisive enough to choose one way. Oh well.
Yeah, so I went to the leadershio conference and Alice goes up to me and tells me that I could make a good president and that I should work on doing great stuff. I used to be active and all. I just need to find control in my life first right now, becfore I go do something else. That is very important. Yeah, like the business vice preseint Ken said, its all about the connections and all. You cannot simply sit in your room and do nothing at all. You need to do more than that.
Oh well. I also received an invitation to join Jean and lilly on a certain group project for an organization. It sounds really cool and I like the idea a lot. So yep, I might just take part in it and try my best to contribute to it, the best way that i can. Its my way to giving back to the community, just like my dad did with his free time and effort. Yeah, my dad gave back to the comunity a lot, and I guess this is the only I can try to do something similar to what he did. Just try your best and you will do fine and learn as you go.
A lady also asked me to make a speech to State farm if they came and I thought that was very interesting. She thinks I can talk. Well, I think I was very nervous during the whole conference but overall, I think that I tried my best to not be embarassed because like my cousin said, guys cannot be embarassed. I also tried my best to speak slowly so that people can understand what I say and hear what I say. Of course, I still mumble here and there, buit with practise I can get over that. That is the only way I can become a successful business man. And like he says, those that do not have connections cannot be a business man because without connections they simply cannot start a company and have the support for it.
Secluded people simply cannot get the funding and support. Oh well. That's how my dad did his business. Yep ..that's my dad.....
Monday, March 10, 2003
My friend Jennifer wrote this while she struggles witha break up.....
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.
You get your fill to eat,
But always keep that hunger.
May you never take one single breath for granted.
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed.
I hope you still feel small,
When you stand by the ocean.
Whenever one door closes,
I hope one more opens.Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance.And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,I hope you dance......
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance.Never settle for the path of least resistance.
Living might mean taking chances,But they're worth taking.Lovin' might be a mistake,But it's worth making.Don't let some hell bent heart,
Leave you bitter.When you come close to selling out,Reconsider.Give the heavens above, More than just a passing glance.
Tuesday, February 25, 2003
I have never suffered before, it is a reality about me in that. I have never been through hard times and when it does come to me, I never really stand up to it, I go down on my knees and cry. I am gutless, Yep, that's probably it. You always saw yourself as brave, but as I look myself right now, everything you have done, shows nothing about your bravery. You have hardly any of it. Shame shame......You are shameful, your beliefs are screwed and wrong. All you believed in in life is sort of wrong, you are are not open minded and that is sad. Very sad indeed. Everyone looks down on you, they do, and I have to channel that energy to beat them and prove them all wrong...that is what i must do...I have to prove them all wrong....make my dad proud and make him right....he was right and he worked hard. His views are the result of many years of hard work and rejection...it does not matter what other people thik, but what you think of yourself. Think about it. If you fail now, you will face hard times in the future with no money at all...no money..and as a result of that lack of effort now, you will not be able to graduate and you will be nothing....you might as well, commit suicide then...why can't you do it....there is no one to blame...no one at all....its all you..its all you and how you view that goal of yorus....there is only a few goals you have in life....the good degree and the good family...that is what you want from everything you do. Studying only pays off in advantages and no disadvantages....you study and what do you lose Nothing....nothing...now if you do not study, you stand to lose everything and get bad grades and all ... well....what is there for me to do?
Only one thing left that will be productie of my time...studying....that at least is not a waste of my time...if done right because it contributes to my grades and my understanding....Yep...it contributes to my understanding....sex does not contribte anything....sleep does....movies does not contribute anything.....only studying and reading books that matter do...if I do not use my time wisely, I stand to lose that time forever... Forever....I amdoing this for myself and no one else....I will do it alone....motivation will be provided by my own means....that is how it is going to work....it is how I do it....
Calculus is a joke...with practise..i can ace the test..I have all the yime in the world......
Econ...is also a joke...the book is all that matter, just read it and if you understand it, you stand to lose nothing....good grades only stand in front....
English, is all about reading my stuff and doing it in advance and finishing it all....good grades will come that way
Computer Science.....ahhhh...the class that you said would be easy in high school but are having trouble...with ...reach into your inner nerd and become that...people have to be nerdy sometime here and there....channel that energy and understand and code that code to bits.....it then works....works like it does....if the program fails...you figure it out with your TA.
Good luck edmund...(like i haven't said that enough)
you waste too much of your time doing shit........
Thursday, February 20, 2003
I sit here and I know..I need to grow up and stop living in the past......Its sad...yes, your dad is gone, but that is the past, now is the time to live your own life and live it well, andtake charge of it yourself.....You need to realize that people around you appreciate you, because you know yourself that you work hard for the things you belive in...The lady from the yearbook, liked your work and enjoyed it a lot....she did...and so did people you worked with in school...you did a great job..even tom, he knows you did a good job...you always do the best you can...you always try to....yes...You jst need to grow up and work on your priorities....there are a few...those come first before anything else...yes, they do, your lifestyle is all not working now, your grades are not increasing, so thus you must change.....you chnage because you do not like the way you are living right now....you do not like the way you are livingright now....you don't.....For you dad....for you..
Friday, February 14, 2003
I need to tell Sabina that I am scared of being too irritating to Angela. Because that is the impression that I got on friday. That i was going too much into her life.
Its another week in this endless cycle that am in. I analyze here and there but I cannot stop this from happeneing to me. Mayb I just have to stop thinking that I have nothign to do when i really have many things to finish for classes and all. yeah. I always have math to do....maybe i just need to realize that by studying engineering, I am realizing a dream of mine to be an engineer of the world and design things that will make an impact in the world. isn't that an engineer is all about.
I have to stop wasting the time that is given to me. Use the time wisely and work yourway through. Study hard and do your work, it is important and you should realize that.
Realize that you are fulfilling a dream that you said you had when you were in High School.
you are worth it.
yeah, never put yourself down....you need to work and do what you are here to do. YOu need to study.
Monday, February 10, 2003
Well, today I talked to Jennfier and I thought it was sort of cool..yeah..h..although I thought that maybe she didn't want to talk to me...I guess I really did not know what to say to her....I really did not know what to say..haha...oh well, let's see what happens....something might happen but I do not know...she studys hard....really hard, something that I really should do in my free time...yep...
Sunday, February 09, 2003
I am an idiot..I missed my salsa class, some class that I look forward to all week....I am a loser man...now...I do not know..I ended up doing nothign with my time....
Yeah, I just saw Hugh Grant in "about a boy" and I think he is sort of right when he says that he lives life by units of time, a CD is 2 units, exercise is another2 units and food is another 5 units......but that despite that life is full, there is no meaning in it.
You need to think about it, and realize something about it.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
I think it is kind of sad. yeah, I just the grades of my first few classes and I know that despite all I have done...all the notes and classes, I just did not find enough times to study and do well in the tests.
Well, lets talk about CS first, well, I thought O studied for it, but I did not do the Homework and that caused me not to know some of the things. I knew the theories and everything but most of the test was on actual programming, I do not have my programming stuff straight, I need to work on that and make it better....
OK, econ, I spent my time doing the CS HW that I didn't really study for Econ, I also missed the last few classes. That caused me not to know too much about the last few topics. That is why I need to reads the book and get back on track about what I need to know about the class. It is an interesting class and I know I can do well in it, I just need to get interested in it again and work hard on doing the work and all. And not waste valuable time everyday.
Calc, Calc...its the same every year, I know everything but I do not know anything about doing the problems because I do not practice. I NEED to practise. KNowing what he is talking about does not mean you know how to do it in the exam.
just do not waste time anymore and work hard. Every minutes counts for you, you have a lot to do. You are what you are. Be that and be good at it. You like computers, programming just takes patience, find that patience again. You knew it back then. FInd the passion you had once. OK?
Monday, February 03, 2003
Today I saw the iMoviefest and I am impressed by what the people have done with their movies and time. Very impressed. wow.
Sunday, February 02, 2003
Few of the things I learned from Thom Rutledge
- I make 100% of the decisions in my life.
- Given the choices available to my consciousness at any given time, I will make the best choice.
- Not to follow the should monster, because with him you're a loser no matter which way you go.
- No two objects can occupy my mind at the same time.
- To practice self-forgiveness is to recognize when harmful thoughts occupy your mind and to replace them with new thoughts of your own design and choice.
- Perfection is not an option for us as human beings.
- Invite yourself to enjoy life as a constant living experience.
- Make the decision to live by decision rather than default.
- Do not behave as if we don't have choices.
- Get rid of your unrealistic expectations.
- You are not what your dad was, he wasn't the person he was all his life.
- I must accept the responsibility to create and maintain positive self-esteem.
- Our minds wander and that is a fact of life. We need to learn how to get back on track and remember to pay attention.
- Make specific plans to be regularly reminded to remember.
- Being a decision maker is choosing to be involved in a life-long process of developing practical intelligence and good judgement, the kind of good sense we need to face life's daily pop tests.
- Don't waste your regrets; learn the lessons.
- Negative Motivation is being pushed from behind [the past], and positive motivation is being pulled from the front[the future].
- You need to make yourself get more pushed from the front.
- "All or none thinking" is a wonderful tool for procrastinators.
- You need to tell other about your goals. That way you will do them better and all. It is a good way to increase your sense of accountability and stoke the motivational fires.
- When you don't tell anyone else, you do not need to admit out loud that you've not followed through. Thus it is easier to deny this to yourself when you have no one to answer to.
- Genuine power is the power to make our own choices, not hiding behind a shield of victimization. It is the power and the courage to step forward and claim full responsibility for ourselves, mistakes and all.
- God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
- Depression is living a life without meaning and letting depression take it over.
- Life purposes has two parts. Communal and personal. Our personal purpose is that which must be resolved(personally) before we can effectively enact our communal purpose (purpose to serve the world).
- The first step to changing something is to accept it as it is.
- If we truly desire to be self-respoonsible people, we must be willing and able to sort through the baggage we all carry, learning to let go of self-blame for those things we had no control over and learning to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we have made along the way.
- Learn the lessons, let go of the excess baggage and then move on.
- Everyone is afraid of being ordinary.
- We grow among a lot of double-binding around us. These can paralyze us. We need to find a way through these messages. They often threaten the illusion of safety and order.
- He who despises himself nevertheless esteems himself as a self-despiser.
- Feeling less than others will only serve to isolate us.
- Do not miss out on recognizing the sameness of myself to the people around me. You are no different from others around you who study in the same school and go through the same things in life. You are afraid of being ordinary. (example shown by girl that gives advice, but does not give the same advice to herself.
- Its about being on a level playing field, and being in a position of strength. Strength that we belong.
Friday, January 31, 2003
Well, today I am trying to decide what to do????? I do not really know...ha...but anyway, I could go watch a movie or something. I feel like going to Best buy Later today and maybe go do something over there, but I do not know about that yet. hmmm.......I was thinking of maybe going to downtown atlanta. That might be fun, let me call my group of friends....which I cannot think of any. Oh well, ....shit...Let me combine groups, that might work...yeah..that might actually work....Let's do that I guess.. ok
Thursday, January 30, 2003
Just had a talk with TIm and I think that he is right in sometimes being that you cannot be a nice person. YOu need to make the initiative sometimes. Girls are there, you need to go and make the move. If not, you will lose that moment forever and it will never come back. You need to sit down and think about what you appreciate and like to do, and then aim for it hard and truthfully. Do not think of other people. You will never know unless you try.
They can then learn how to maintain balance in their lives and their habits. They practice being less compulsive nurturers. They begin to trust themselves and be a bit more open with others. They learn to maintain a childlike attitude of gratitude and wonderment. And, they learn to be less sensitive to outside turmoil.
"The reason that depression is so pervasive is that society is losing its sense of security and moral fiber in both the family and in the community. As it's losing its fiber we're losing our sense of purpose and personal value. At the same time we need to look at the spiritual component that gives us a sense of wholeness and peace when looking for solutions."
Those who understand depression agree, with Heddi, "I need people, but I need people that I can be myself with. And, I need to find a way to make sense out of the madness I face every day I walk out my front door. When things get off balance, I need to make some changes. Alone I can't do it."
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
When a guy dates a girl, they have within themselves a relationship that is really not that exclusive. It is love, but they still have their own individual dreams and goals. It is a tough thing. They live their separate lives and come together from time to time. It is something. Each of them has to have their own dreams. Love cannot be everything
you need to realize that.
Love is not all that happens in a relationship,. sometimes there is love, but living together does not work out nevertheless. It is tough. It always is
you need to live your own life and have your own dreams edmund. Determine what does are and live by them and through them. Try to achieve them. You might have to go through it alone but I guess everyone does. So fight hard. Love is around the corner and it might just be there, but remember that it is not essential to life and all. You can survive without love. For now, reason being because you have your family that you can rely on. They are there for you. They will be there for you. Girls leave and come, Family always stay there. Yes they do.
take care of yourself and your family Edmund.
I am an idiot that does not know what he is doing in this word at all. I lose out in everything., I do not meet expectations at all and all. Why is this so. I can't get the girl because I am too slow. I do not know. I just find myself so behind everyone else and find myself catching up all the time.
I cannot be like that, I cannot play catch up all the time. I need to take the initiative. I need to take the initiative in everything I do.........
it is tough. it always has been for me. I have to find a meaning in life besides finding true love. It is too early to search for that now. Right now, It is time to look for work and work hard in what I do. Yep. It is all about studying right now. That is the most imporatnt thing right now, sadly. I just have to go through it like that. Hahaha
I need to improve myselfso that I can deserve her when I do meet her. That she will like being with me and all. ..........words cannot describe how i feel right now. Nothing can describe it, main;y because i am analyzed it too much and I now I really do not know what i am talking about at all.
I have done more than is required of me.
I have wasted my time on something that simply will not help me in any way. I have wasted my time. and I realize that right now. I realize that that time could have been used to make myself look better and to make myself better in many things that I do. It is true and I am ashamed to have bad grades right now. I am really ashamed and I do not know what to do. how can I change something that I have been living by for such a long time? How do I change? I need to find something else that I can have a passion for. Girls is the passion I have now. I need to change because having that as my passion is very unproductive. Unproductive I think. It is sad but that's the truth. Yep. I think so. Hhahaha.
Maybe Studying is a good passion, maybe doing web sites and maybe doing models. I have my choice. I can do anything I want pretty much. ANything at all. I have any choice to pick and the world is out there for me to pick.........
But I think I will not be able to decide as I have seen the past few weeks and year. It is something that I find myself, looking for here and there. It is sad, and it is getting tiring, but I cannot stop it. I just cannot. ...please give me the strength to find something to have a passion for and all. Please give me that strength. Please..............I need to get my mind off girls for now at least.
Girls..........now let's analyze this, why would I want to have girlfriend? What are the advantages? Someone to care for. Smeone to care about me. Fulfilling human emotion for someone. Filling that void I feel everyday to care for someone and love them for who they are. The unknown area of love, I guess, there is so much in that area that I simply, cannot find something that I do not like about it. It is so attractive to me. The pull to be placed in a relationship with a person you love and care and how it will allow me to grow as a person and as an adult. I will be able to grow and care. She will also be there for me and care and lead me through the tough times I have. I have had a lot of hard times and it is very tough going through it without support. And I see more hard times coming. hahaha...oh well.
Good luck edmund, Maybe you could take up music and all. Maybe......
Saturday, January 25, 2003
I haven't posted for a while, I think because I keep telling myself that I have changed. But i think I have not. I am still the Edmund as before. I start out very motivated to study and that motivation slowly slides off and gone, what can I say?? I do not know. I can't help but cry here and there, its sad and I know that. But only I can figure out what I want to do in life. Only I can figure out what is wrong and what is wrong with thinking and attitude, It is all there. Many friends are always there to help you out, but you need to sit down and realize for yourself, what you need to do. WHat I need to do. I cannot sit down and let life pass by me like it is nothing, I am slowly getting left behind in this fast paced world. I need to come out on top. I guess that can be my passion. Taking care of myself and my brain and for once, bringing myself as the number one priority right now in life. That is the most important thing I can do now. With myself, being healthier and my mind more sharp, I will be able to use my brainpower to solve school problems and everything else that is more important....i tell myself that all the time...
but the realizty is that I am lonely.
that is not a good reason and you know that.
Your mom was there and she told you herself.
I need to keep myself busy and doing things. I have to do things I do not like, because, hey, its towards my degree and everything. its tough, but hey its true and all. Life is meant to be unpredictable, You cannot predict all the time. Life is not a business either. It is about living it yourway.
And somtimes, you just have to live it yourself. You just have to.
I have to be alone sometimes and maybe i don't most of time, but i have to go out there and find those friends to hang out with. They are out there, I just need to go and hang out with them. Hanging out with them is great, But I always have to remember what my priorities are in life. My school work and my life. Finding tthat balance is always the hardest thing you can do in life. It always is.
To put my mind to my work when my work comes around, and to put my mind to love and life when the time comes around. Do not mix them together because then you will find yourself wasting time. switching from one to another. It is tough, always seems to be . The brain can only do one thing at a time, so organize yourself and make your mind do the right thing for that time. The time which goes away and is then only a memory and cannot come back ever again.
Time flies Edmund, so use it wisely and with passion that you have towards yourself right now. The passion that you are hiding from everyone around you. That passion has to be released and shown to the world. You need to show what Edmund is capable of and how he realliy studies and cares about his friends. Then I will beccome and master of time management.
Release that passion into things that you like doing and spend time doing things all over the place. Priorities come first and then the rest of your time can be spent doing other things that you want to do. Life is sort of an artform and we do it according to how we want it. our own way. Wer leave our own mark on it. Edmund, leaves yours and do not think too much about the past.
You can think for yourself now, makes mistakes because everyone does. Learn from them. Don;t be afraid to take chances, because what's the worse that can happen besides never finding out what could have happened.
Ask the girl that you find attractive, because the worse that can happen is that she says no. and then that it, you go on with your life and she goes on with hers.
It is not what you did in life that matters but what you can do in life.
you can do many great things and you know you can, you are in the position to make those mistakes, so make them and succeed from those experiences.
You made bad grades, learn from that experience and grow from it, and do not allow it to happen again. Do not allow your subconsious to reign over this. Bad habits should go away. You will use brainpower to motivate you to do what is right. Right.
I will work towards getting rid of all my bad habits. I will. And through that, my self-esteem will increase and I will accomplish more great things and great companionship will always come as a result.
have faith Edmund and you will succeed. Faith in your abilities and yourself. Faith in your family and the people around you. Have faith in that they will do what is predestined for them, and that you will do what is asked of you.
thus you will become a responsible citizen and person.